Whitney's Arrival Musings

Hi all! Whitney here.

I've been drafting this one on my head since I left the Flathead on Thursday. I thought about it through my drive to Seattle, on my flight to London, and while I wasted away on my layover waiting for my second flight.

I have to start with gratitude for my people in Montana. I am surrounded by beautiful, thoughtful, and caring people who put a lot of time and effort into giving me and Jedd a proper sendoff from this place I have grown to love so much. From the party at the Brants' house to dinner at the Nickell's house to brunch at the farm and a short weekend in Missoula--these past few weeks have been a whirlwind of enjoying my days and people in Montana, packing, and slowly saying goodbye to the places and people I love so much.

As I headed west on I-90 out of Missoula, I felt the familiar urge to take the exit I've taken countless times and head back home to the Flathead. This is one of the first times in my life that I can remember having a yearning to not do what I was planning to do. To throw aside my plans and plane tickets and just head back to this place I have grown so comfortable in. It is a testament to how much I have loved the life I've built over the past four years.

Thankfully, I chose to continue on my journey and 48 hours later found myself in Ljubljana, Slovenia excited to take on this new adventure with Jedd. For those of you who know me well, you know how important it is for me to have a purpose. How much I can struggle without structure and feeling like I have nothing to do. Joining Jedd in Slovenia for his Fulbright research is scary in that it exemplifies all these things that frighten me. I have no independent purpose here. I don't speak this language. I will (most likely) not be able to work here. And yet, here I am ready to force myself to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. To allow myself to learn a new language, to learn a new city, and to hopefully learn some more about myself in the process. To allow this to be enough.

It's only been a few days and I am already both loving this new experience and struggling with it. I want so desperately to actually be able to speak to the farmers whose produce I am buying at the market. I want to have more to do to do than hunting for a dish drainer and filling out another form at another bureaucratic office. I am also grateful, however, to be sharing this experience with Jedd who is also yearning for more interaction, for more purpose, and more structure to his days.

There is also so much joy. The joy of fresh produce and delicious homecooked meals. The joy of discovering a "Thai Asia Market" and walking 1.5 miles each way so that we could finally have access to red pepper flakes and toasted sesame oil and other culinary delights. The joy of using the city bike system and feeling the freedom of bike travel and noticing how different we might interpret right of way and which sidewalk to be on. The joy of being together and slowing down.